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The Mind-Expanding Definition of Sex

by Step Tranovich on November 15, 2023

A year ago, I challenged you to think more deeply about what sex means to you. And to consider flipping that definition on its head.

After all, when we hew to the common definition of sex—penis-in-vagina (PIV) penetrative intercourse—we exclude so many people whose experience of sex does not revolve around penetration—and certainly not around vaginal penetration.

In fact, this emphasis on penetration can even bleed into queer spaces, leading folks to feel as if anal sex is the only legitimate form of sex.

As a company that’s queer AF, we have a lot of FEELINGS about this narrow definition of sex.

Why else is this focus on PIV intercourse so limiting?

For many folks, and for a multitude of reasons, PIV intercourse just doesn’t do it.

There are those whose gender or sexuality is in flux, and who don’t yet know what sex means to them. They're still exploring, gathering information about what makes them feel good.

There are those whose experience of disability makes PIV penetrative intercourse less accessible or appealing.

And all of us live in bodies that inevitably change as we age, which in turn changes the ways we access pleasure.

Heck, body changes aside, our preferences can change, too. With every sexual experience we have, we learn something new about what we enjoy. And for many of us, those new sources of pleasure don’t center PIV intercourse.

But those other expressions of sexual pleasure toward which we gravitate? They’re all sex.

Those who treat penetrative intercourse as the main event can miss out on a lot.

What else might be sex?

If what you’re doing feels like sex, it’s as valid and vital as what others often consider “the main event.”

You might enjoy an extended smooch session, tongues intertwined, hands running over each other’s bodies.
You might be super into dry humping, either grinding up against someone else or going to town with your Cute Little Fucker. (Starsi really loves that sort of thing.)

Maybe you prefer butt play, something that—unlike PIV intercourse—does not require a vulva or vagina. I get it. Many of our toys—Trinity, Shimmer, and Jix among them—love butt play, too!

clf toys: jix, trinity and shimmer

Oral sex is sex. Hand-to-genital stimulation is sex. 

Using either of these forms of stimulation for a super-spicy sensual massage, with or without one of our toys to intensify the sensations? 

Also sex.

A solo sesh with Princette Puppypus is totes sex, too!

Basically, PIV intercourse is just one of many expressions of sexual intimacy out there. 

And all of those other expressions that exist? They’re all valid.

And beautiful.

And FUN!

I’d like to encourage you to play around with this more expansive definition of sex.

And take one of our toys with you! 😋

And as always, I love to hear what our Cute Little Fuckers have helped you discover, so keep those reviews rolling in.

Until next time - Step