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One of the keys to amazing sex is good communication. But what if your particular flavor of neurodivergence means you have a different communication style from your partner, or have different sexy time needs?
Set boundaries before the clothes come off.
Once the door is closed and you’re down to your undies, things can feel very high pressure. Talk about your expectations for sex play ahead of time, including the activities you can’t stand and the ones you looove. If it helps, use a "yes/no/maybe" list, which can help you establish which moves are on or off the table.
Let your body do the talking.
Eye contact during sex may be overwhelming, and sex talk might make you feel silly, but your body language can speak a thousand words. For example, you and your play partner could agree ahead of time that a tap on the shoulder means “stop,” while pressing them closer means, “for the love of god, DON’T STOP.”
Pick a safe word.
The use of safe words is common in the kink scene, but you can use them no matter what type of sex you’re having. Agree on a word or phrase you can use that means "stop" if one of you is feeling overwhelmed.
Be direct.
Some of us settle for lackluster sex because we’re afraid to demand what we want—or to redirect someone when they’re doing something that makes us uncomfortable. But we can’t read each other’s minds! Be direct with your play partners, whether you want them to “Touch me there!” … “Go slower, please” … or just: “HARDER!”
Positive reinforcement works well, too. 😉 Who wouldn’t want to hear, “That feels amazing.”
