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As I prep for Folsom this year, I find myself excited to hang out with all my fellow kinky, nerdy, neurodivergent queers in the community.
Seriously. The longer I do this work, and the more time I spend at kink-specific events, the more I notice this huge overlap between neurodivergence and asexuality and kink.
It makes sense. Kink takes the focus off penetration and traditional sex and places it not only on bodily sensations and pleasure, but also on inner worlds, fantasies, and stories... on dynamics more than on actions.
On top of this, kink also allows for more structured forms of connecting that prioritize explicit consent, boundary negotiation, and clearly defined roles. This in particular can calm brains prone to being overactive. As one of my partners once told me, "When someone's hitting me, I don't need to stim because they're stimming for me!"
If you're someone who's still figuring out what your vibes are with sex and sexuality, or if you're not getting what you want out of vanilla sex, try kink! You can even play with sensations and fantasies on your own.
When people unlock that headspace, stuff that felt meh before can feel really exciting.
Of course, this can be true for anyone. We can all benefit from a sexual practice that centers pleasure and prioritizes personal boundaries.
Whether you’re neurodivergent or not… whether you identify as ace, heteroflexible, or anything in between… I look forward to seeing you at the Folsom Street Fair on Sunday, September 27. Come find our booth and hang out!
