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How to Communicate for the Most Fun Sexy-Times

by Step Tranovich on September 14, 2022

Hello there, friends!

I don’t know about you but, lately, I’ve been struck by how the work we do here at Cute Little Fuckers has had an impact on people’s sex lives…

…in ways I didn’t expect.

Recently, Starsi appeared on an episode of How to Build a Sex Room.

Starsi — being the cute little scene stealer Starsi is — caught the eye of someone who’d just left a 22-year marriage and had begun to explore all the possibilities sex might still hold for her.

It was a nice reminder that we’re always learning new things about ourselves.

Could Starsi do the same for you?

In our last email, which featured Kmo’s story, we saw that as we learn more about our sexuality, sex play can be an even more joyful experience.

But how do we take what we learn and bring it to our partner play, creating a safe, fun and affirming space to explore with others?

It all comes down to communication.

After all, we can’t read each other’s minds.

If mutually pleasurable sex with others is the goal, we have to ask for what we want. And we have to find out what they enjoy, too. How?

1. Start the conversation early. Get in the habit of talking about sex and desire and arousal right from the start. That way, if you discover a new turn-on or a magical new source of gender euphoria, you won’t think twice before bringing it up.
2. Approach the conversation with positive curiosity. Presumably, you and your partners care about making each other feel good. Ask them about their turn-ons. Get their take on something new you’d like to try. Find out what would be most affirming for them, or what body parts or vocabulary they’d prefer you avoided. Let it be fun.
3. Make sure your partners are on board. Each of you has different boundaries and comfort zones. Make sure you’re not zooming past them.
4. Check in afterward. Maybe you tried something new and it didn’t quite work for you. That’s okay. Get in that post-play debrief so you can discuss what didn’t work… and what was abso-fuckin-lutely amazing.

The more comfortable you get talking about these things together, the more fun you’ll have.

We’ve shared tips in the past, particularly around how to use our toys.

But we’d love to do this more often in future emails.

Have any sex ed questions for us?

Email us here!

All the love - Step

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