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Hey there, lovely friends! Jix here, your friendly guide to navigating the vast and fabulous world of relationships. Today, we're diving into the deep waters of authenticity, chosen families, and the beautiful chaos of breaking free from the heteronormative script. I hope you’re as excited about this as I am!
The mere profound existence of queerness creates a world where relationships aren't confined to any script; where success isn't measured by straight monogamous marriage, 2.5 kids, and a white picket fence. It turns out that human relationships are far more complex than that. The whole concept of “chosen family” emerged from expressing queer realities around this.
As the incredible Alok Vaid-Menon so gorgeously says, “Being non-binary is not just about my gender, but also about rejecting dichotomies and oppositional thinking, affirming my own complexity and simultaneity.” When you expand this thinking to stretch beyond the personal and into the relational or community level, you start to grasp the full, true beauty of queerness.
Queerness acknowledges that the lines between “family” and “friend,” “man” and “woman,” and “lover” and “platonic buddy” are all made-up, giving each of us the power to approach each connection in our lives with radical authenticity.
With all of this in mind, approaching building your own relationship structures suddenly goes from having an easy, if restrictive, script to follow to suddenly having every possibility open to you– this means you have to get real with yourself about what you really want.
Now that the heteronormative shackles are off, how do you navigate this sea of possibilities? Well, my dear friends, the key is to take it slow, like a dolphin gracefully gliding through the waves. Slow down, feel things out, and give yourself the gift of time.
In the queer universe, relationships aren't a race; they're a journey, full and valued from the second you feel a connection. Maybe that strong connection you're feeling with someone evolves into a deep friendship with a side of spicy sexual chemistry. Or perhaps you find yourself in a romantic relationship minus the sexual vibe—a beautiful phenomenon known as "queer-platonic relationships." The point is, every connection is a unique exploration, and there's no need to rush.
Be open to possibility, my friends! Sometimes, what starts as a romantic endeavor might beautifully morph into a deep and enduring friendship, or vice-versa. The key is to let go of expectations and embrace the organic flow of your connections.
Now, you might be thinking, "Jix, are you nudging us towards polyamory?" Well, my friends, not necessarily. Whether you're diving into polyamorous waters, sailing the monogamous seas, or navigating the depths of your platonic connections, the essence remains the same: communication, honesty, vulnerability, and love.
The focus should really be on creating relationships that align authentically with your self and your relations. The key is to communicate openly with your friends and partner(s), laying out your desires, boundaries, and dreams on the table.
Communicate, be honest about your needs, and approach it with the same level of vulnerability and love throughout the whole relationship. Things will inevitably evolve as we all do– nobody is a static being, making each connection something alive and ever growing. Be willing to embrace that change and evolution.
In the end, my friends, queerness teaches us that there's no one-size-fits-all approach to relationships. It's about finding what feels right for you and your people. So, whether you're cruising a monogamous highway, navigating the polyamorous maze, or focusing exclusively on deep friendships, embrace the freedom to shape your own narrative.
So, there you have it, my adventurous pals! Queer relationship structures are a playground of possibilities. Take it slow, embrace the unknown, and craft connections that resonate with your authentic self.
Until next time, keep swimming through the waves of love and authenticity.
Your friendly guide,
